SkyWorld

I’m sure you’ve probably heard that Revenge of the Sith is just slightly better than The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. In my opinion, that is completely untrue. Revenge of the Sith is a masterpiece. Let me explain why I think so. First of all, the plot here is just so much better. Even the dialogue is greatly improved. It’s still not perfect, but it’s only cringe-worthy in a few scenes. That in and of itself is a huge improvement. Secondly, George Lucas has the power of his own legendary original trilogy behind him this time. Finally, we get to witness Anakin become Darth Vader. And it’s glorious. We finally get a little bit of believability when it comes to why Anakin turned to the dark side. This time, it’s not just because he was an arrogant brat. We’re finally able to believe that he was pushed over the edge. On a technical level, everything is flawless, and the CGI still looks incredible today. The acting is far better this time around, and Hayden Christensen i

I’m sure you’ve heard that this movie is bad. And oh my word, did you hear correctly. It’s really that bad, and if it’s not literally that’s bad, it’s pretty close. If it weren’t a Star Wars movie, maybe I’d go easier on it. But Star Wars is a classic example of cinematic greatness, and therefore I’m going to be a bit more harsh than I might otherwise be. Also I just enjoy criticizing things and being sarcastic, so expect a lot of negativity. I’m not even going to bother with telling the story, I’m just going to go straight to the criticism. Hayden Christensen is horrible in this movie, probably even worse than you’ve heard. I do think he’s sort of underrated as an actor, but absolutely not in this movie. The only person who’s ever given a more wooden performance is Treebeard. I know, that’s like my worst pun ever. But it’s true. His acting is atrocious in this movie. Ewan McGregor is pretty terrible as well. He seems to do his best with what he’s given, but he doesn’t really

DADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADA-DADADADUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUM! Okay, yeah. I’m shutting up now. You know, The Phantom Menace is actually a decent movie. Definitely not a masterpiece, but it’s pretty decent. Words are not enough to explain how disappointed people were when they walked out of the theaters after watching The Phantom Menace. Fans all over the world had waited 16 years for the next installment of this incredible series. Only, it wasn’t incredible now! Okay, so. Why do I think The Phantom Menace isn’t an atrocious piece of garbage? Because it’s not. It’s kind of bad, but it’s not terrible. Okay, moving on to the review. The Phantom Menace’s greatest problem is its story, and the fact that there’s nothing here to make us believe that this is Star Wars. Literally like 30 minutes of the movie are taken up by political discussions. Its other problem is that much of the movie just fails to be interesting. It’s a pretty solid movie until the Jedi travel to Tatooine. Then

Oh man. I don’t even know where to begin with this movie. It’s just so good, on so. Many. Levels. But I’m gonna waste time being vague and ranting about how good it is without explaining why. On to the review. Daniel Craig is back as James Bond in the 23 rd installment of the franchise. And Bond has never been better. I’m not even going to try to hide the fact that this film is not a typical Bond film. It doesn’t try to be. And I for one am glad that we finally get something different. The darker, more vulnerable Bond is still the one we get here, and it still works.  Ultimately, this movie works on basically every level. The cinematography is simply phenomenal. The editing is flawless. Basically everything about this movie is flawless. Except for the score. It works fine in the movie, but on its own… Yeah, it’s pretty terrible. The story also has a few minor problems, but for the most part, it works extremely well. Once again, the best thing about these movies is Daniel Crai

Ugh. I desperately wanted to love this movie after Desolation of Smaug absolutely defied all of my slightly pessimistic expectations. It just wasn’t as good as it could have been, though. That’s not to say it’s as bad as An Unexpected Journey, though. Because it’s not. It’s pretty good. Okay, I’m going to stop being vague and just move on to the actual review. Battle of the Five Armies picks up mere minutes after Desolation of Smaug ends, and honestly the first 15 minutes or so are absolutely bizarre. Moving on though. I honestly thought that the first hour of this movie was excellent, though Thorin’s dragon-sickness did begin to drag on a bit towards the end, and when it did finally end, it was in an absolutely bizarre scene. Okay, moving past the bizarre scenes. This movie excels in its more quiet and emotional moments. Then the battle comes. This should have been the most amazing battle in cinematic history. But it just wasn’t. I’m not going to say it kind of drug on and on,

Oh. Heck. Yes. Yeah, Peter Jackson is still awesome. With Desolation of Smaug (do you say it “Smowg” or “Smog”), Peter Jackson is once again in top form. I loved nearly everything about this movie. LORD OF THE RINGS IS BACK BABY. I know, I’m such a fangirl. I apologize. Seriously though, this movie nails everything. Yeah, fine. I’ll get on to the review. So, as you can tell, I like this movie. A lot. Like, a heck of a lot. Everything An Unexpected Journey did wrong, this movie gets right. The formula from the first movie remains largely unchanged, but it is significantly improved upon. We still don’t get to see a lot about the personalities of the dwarves. But we get to see a few of their personalities, and that technically constitutes character development. Right? Right. Don’t get freaked out, it’s okay. I answer myself all the time. The emotional depth is there this time. It’s FINALLY THERE. The movie tries to tie itself to Lord of the Rings in even more dramatic ways this t

Ah, Peter Jackson. You sly son of a gun. Let’s hear it for him, people. He split one short book into three. Actual. Movies. And they were like three hours long each. Dang, that takes talent. If only it had worked. Yeah, that’s right. We all knew (except for me, as I was a wee lad at the mere age of thirteen or something) that there was absolutely no way this movie could live up to the hype. Congratulations, we were all right. Except for me, of course. I was wrong. That’s not to say that this movie is an atrocious wasteland of absolute filth like Batman & Robin. Compared to that movie, An Unexpected Journey is basically Return of the King or The Dark Knight. But heck, even a terrible movie like Star Trek: Nemesis could claim that honor. So, on to the review. An Unexpected Journey opens in dazzling fashion, with the infamous Smaug (does anyone know how you actually pronounce his name?) destroying Erebor. Soon enough, the dwarves arrive and the quest has begun. What is it I d